Sesame seed and soy sauce eggs

• 2 dozen eggs, hard boiled and peeled
• 1/2 cup soy sauce
• 1/2 cup water
• 1 tablespoon ground ginger
• 1 tablespoon sesame seeds
• 1 tablespoon sesame oil
• 1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
• 1 cup apple cider vinegar

Boil soy sauce, water, and seasonings together.  

Add oil, vinegar, and eggs.  

Bring back up to a boil and split into two quart sized mason jars.

Refrigerate and let pickle for at least a week.

Honey and Anise pickled eggs

2 dozen eggs, hard boiled and peeled
1 teaspoon mustard seed
1 teaspoon anise seed
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 cup water
1 cup vinegar
1/2 cup honey

Dissolve honey in water and add garlic and seeds, bring to a low boil for half an hour. Add vinegar and eggs and bring back up to temperature. Split into two quart jars and top off with more vinegar if needed.


Based on the article The Ancient History of Deviled Eggs: (emphasis mine)

According to Apicius, a collection of Roman recipes believed to have been compiled sometime between the fourth and fifth century A.D., boiled eggs were traditionally seasoned with oil, wine or broth and served with pepper and laser (which was also known as silphium, a plant driven to extinction by the first century A.D.). Another recipe called for poached eggs to be dressed with soaked pine nuts, lovage (an herb of the parsley family with an anise, celery flavor), pepper, honey, vinegar and broth.

Spicy MoFo Pickled Eggs

3 dozen eggs
4 Cups water
4 Cups distilled white vinegar
1 Tablespoon salt
1 Tablespoon Pickling Spices
1 Tablespoon red pepper flakes
1 Tablespoon dried minced garlic
2 Tablespoons brown mustard seed
1 teaspoon ground mustard
1 teaspoon ground turmeric
1/2 teaspoon hot hungarian paprika
1 Cup pickled jalapeño slices, with brine

Hard boil and peel the eggs (I can't recommend the Instant Pot enough!).  Place in giant glass pickling jar.

Combine all ingredients, bring to a boil, and pour over eggs.  Make sure all the solids make it in in case there is leftover liquid.

Cap, refrigerate, and let pickle for at least a week.

Beer Pickled Eggs

On the recommendation of the tea lady at the Hornwood archery event, I decided to make beer eggs. I started by hard boiling the eggs with an Instant Pot based on the recommendation of my friend Cassie.  They peeled like a dream!  Then I made pickling spice (because I was too lazy to go buy it) and followed this recipe for the actual pickling juice.  This is how I adjusted them for the jars I had that only fit 7 eggs each.  Since you aren't actually drinking the solution, the eggs should still be keto with minimal traces of carbs, but you might want to avoid if you are allergic to wheat.


INGREDIENTS

14 eggs, hard boiled and peeled

1.5 Cups white vinegar
8 oz Budweiser Reserve Copper Lager
1 tablespoon parsley flakes
1 tablespoon pickling spice

PICKLING SPICE

1 tablespoon brown mustard seed
1 teaspoon ground coriander
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1 bay leaf
1 mexican cinnamon stick
3 cloves (the ones you shove in oranges at christmas)
1 tbsp dried minced garlic (because I misread the clove part)
couple of shakes of nutmeg (instead of the allspice)

RECIPE

- Borrow gallon Instant Pot from friend.
- Fill with one layer of eggs (about 15) and 1 cup of water.  Close lid and vapor valve.
- Use EGG setting to hard boil eggs.  It  takes a couple of minutes to reach pressure, then it will count down 5 minutes. Once done, open valve to release steam.
- Place eggs in cold water in fridge to cool.

- Place all spices in grinder and turn into a powder. Place in air tight container. Can be stored for a month, but will lose potency with time.

- Combine vinegar, beer, parsley, and pickling spice in pot on stove and bring to a mild boil and remove from stove.

- Shell eggs, wonder how you have shelled 180 eggs this year without going to jail for murder, and divide into two jars.

- Pour liquid over eggs and try to distribute the solids evenly.

- Lid jars and place in fridge.

- Let pickle for minimum of three days.  If you go longer, flip the jars once a week so top and bottom eggs get better contact with liquid.

Red Beet Eggs, Kelda Edition

RECIPE

2 cans 15oz sliced beets, saving the juices

1/2 cup dried onion

1 tsp red pepper flakes
1 tsp ground black pepper
1 tsp whole cloves (about 30)
1 tsp salt
33 eggs
2-3 cups water
2 cups apple cider vinegar

• Boil and peel 3 dozen eggs. Donate three eggs to science!  Or have them explode in the pot, because one always commits sepuku.

• Combine the juice from the beets and all the spices and bring to a simmer.  Let sit until onions are reconstituted.

• Alternate layers of sliced beets, eggs, and onions in a gallon pickle jar, trying to get a decent distribution.

• Pour remaining onion mixture, water, and vinegar into jar.  Add some water if you need to reach the shoulder.  Flip lightly a few times to get the liquids mixed in.

• Place in a pot of water (on a stand so the jar doesn't touch the bottom) and heat up until egg mixture is almost boiling, with the lid OFF.  Once hot, remove from heat and replace the lid, let cool at room temperature.  This will help create a vacuum seal once it cools down, after which you can store in the pantry or fridge. 

SCHPIEL

What, the recipe at the beginning?  BURN THE WITCH!

Yeah, it pisses me off when I can't find how to make something until scrolling through seventy three pages of memories and pictures.  I can just add them at the end.

Like I recently posted, I've been getting back into the SCA quite a bit and will be feastocrating a vigil this Pennsic for my friend Kelda.  I saw her at Crown Tourney three weeks ago and was complaining that I had hardboiled 90 eggs and very few were eaten at the event because it was so freakishly hot for early May, so I was thinking about pickling them.  Luckily, she said she loves pickled eggs, so now I've made five dozen for her this week!  The last three dozen are in that beet jar, and the first couple went into Pickled Ramp juice that I got from Astrid at Aethelmeark War Practice a couple of weeks ago.  She said she mostly followed this recipe and they were beyond amazing!  Should do a good job with eggs, too.

After complaining to a coworker about peeling them, he suggested I steam the eggs (I normally bake them when in large quantities) and then tumble them in the bowl after they are cold to lightly "bruise the shells".  This apparently makes even the freshest eggs come off very easily.

Ragrets

Yesterday was easter, and I planned to take a cheat day for the past six weeks for a pierogie party.  First it was only going to be sunday, but Dave woke up and heated up sausages and grilled pineapple, so, welp.  I realized A LOT of things that made me feel gross and just not worth it.

BAD

- GF GS cookies - too sweet

- home made peanut butter eggs - meh, again too sweet

- candy - why bother?  There are great SF versions I can eat a piece a day

- cupcakes - never that fond of them, just tasted boring

- HFCS rootbeer - for as much as I love SF Barqs, the regular stuff left me nonplussed.

Mostly, what made me feel gross was the drive sugar produced in me to eat everything in sight.  So while maybe one cookie would have been ok, I had to rip myself away half a sleeve in.  I also found that I needed salt in everything, and that unsalted sweet things just didn't appeal to me, but that's pretty standard for me.  Unsalted butter is for animals.

GOOD

 - Pierogies - duh.

 - Chinese Wok

 - Pizza - yes, even bad pizza is better than no pizza

 - Bailey's

 - Cake batter - really good when mixed with vodka >.>

 - Peanuts and chips - aaaaaalllll of the chiiiiips is not the right answer

 - Krupnic - again, in sips, not half a glass

 - Ice cream - I can probably be more discriminate with this

 - Beer - I nursed a Winter Warmer for two days.  It was odd. It might be different with other kinds.

 - Jello - So. Many. Shots.

The things I did like were also impossible to put down, and I definitely felt worse and worse the more I ate them.  I don't know if this is more caused by the caloric restriction or the keto.  The next scheduled day off I have is in four weeks and will be War Practice, at which I have been invited to the Brewer's Guild Party. I plan on eating whatever I want, just forcing me to not snack or binge.

These last two times I've gone off keto I've jumped from 159-170-161-170.  It takes me about four days to get back to the bottom weight, and even then I didn't get all the way back to pre-binge.  I think I'm plateauing at 160 and definitely need to amp up the exercise.  Luckily I'm on Review Week and I get time back to myself soon!

Progress

I didn't make the final roster for BotAS (first alt), but I've decided to keep going with the diet for a while, at least Rollercon.  There hasn't been much progress, but it is existent.  The five pounds I gained in Columbia didn't stick and left with the glucose flush (~10lbs?), and I've managed to lose a legitimate five pounds in the past 2.5 months.  I think I was a bit slow in january because I found way too many excuses to drink vodka.  Cheats have only been Dave's b-day/cabin trip and Mardi Gras; next one will be easter. I'm also starting to lift again, and today is finally warm enough that I want to go jogging outside!  So despite the diet shamers, I'm going to keep with the progress.

Oh! And I managed to wear the dress I bought for Fer's wedding Oct 2017 that I had hulked out of that winter, and I think it fits me better now than when I bought it.  I'll update if I find a picture.  Mostly I think I like how the lack of glucose looks on me and gives me a better shape, more than the actual weight loss.

Also, fuck guys who always brag that "a 30x34 is always a 30x34" when talking about pant sizes.  I keep trying them on because I want pockets, damnit, and they still fluctuate (admittedly less drastically) from style to style.

Hello Keto, it's me, Margret.

Welp, here I go again.  Last weekend they announced the 27 person charter for the PAAS and I managed to get a spot again.  Who knows how this will fare with the actual rostering for the games, but at least I'm going to give it my best shot.  Again.

So I started keto again.  It's probably been a good four or five years since I tried last, and there are so many things I'd completely forgotten about.  Especially about the first week!

1) Pissing like a motherfucking racehorse! For about three days, dropped seven pounds.

2) Exercise is weird.  Monday and wednesday practices were totally ok, but jamming was a bitch.  I got through it, but my body was confused as hell.  

3) PAAS practice friday went well (day 5), but every time I got off the track I had to pound water so that I could forget the feeling of complete and utter lack of fuel.  The weird thing is that I had eaten a lot of salami and cheese on my drive to Reading, so there's no reason for me to not have had any fuel.

4) Saturday was very uneventful.  I had a bunless burger for breakfast and wasn't hungry until nightfall.  And then I was famished.

5) Sunday I woke up and went to the gym.  20 minutes on the treadmill, alternating jogging and running, was hell.  I barely managed to run in 1.5 minute spurts.  Then I tried side lunges up the stairmaster and hated myself at ten minutes.  Side-to-side wonkers? Would be better if the machine's software wasn't asssssss.  And then I walked half an hour on the hamster wheel treadmill and didn't even feel it.

Tomorrow we start Dolls tryouts for the season.  It shouldn't be too terrible, but I should probably pack some string cheese or something.  In my infinite laziness, I've been mixing up a scoop of protein powder with an ounce or two of half n half and eating it like pudding.  It is surprisingly better than just drinking it.

A friend asked me last week if I meal prep >.>

Uuuu... I bought a bottle of salad dressing?  And a couple dozen eggs.  And a block of cheese -_-

Salmonella or botulism?

Hopefully neither.

Pennsic, once again, is on the horizon. Having recently bought a car, bought a house, and lost my job means this year will need to be extra cheap.  So I'm canning eggs.

I picked up a case of 7.5 dozen eggs from Sam's Club for $11, 18 pint jars from Ollies for $12, and a gallon of apple cider vinegar for $3. All of the spices and canned beets were already in my pantry, and the jars are reusable, so it's pretty much $15 for an epic amount of portable, shelf stable protein.

In my research, I found everything from canned eggs lasting years in the basement to OMG EVERYTHING WILL KILL YOU, so, whatevs.  I don't plan on them surviving more than a month, so I'm not terribly concerned about over sterilizing everything.

I found a life hack that you can bake eggs at 325F for 30 minutes instead of having to deal with bringing water to a boil and whatnot.  It mostly came out ok!

1. Preheat oven to 325F (or 350F if your oven isn't reliable) while you place eggs into cupcake tins so they don't roll around.  Cook for 30 minutes.

• Normal cupcakes are ok, but mini cupcakes will let you fit twice as many.  My new oven is huge, so I can fit two trays on each rack, for a total of 8 dozen eggs at once.
• Unfortunately, I only had three mini cupcake tins, so I tried using a regular cupcake tin with two eggs in each cup.  Some of these eggs came out with soft spots >.>
• The eggs that were fully cooked had small charred brown spots where they were touching the tins.  It is ok and doesn't affect the rest of the pickling.

2. Pull cooked eggs out of the oven and cool down.

• Placing them in ice water helps the flesh retract from the shell (and keeps you from burning your fingers).

3. Shell eggs and place five in each pint jar.

• Some websites made a huge deal about only using unblemished eggs because pitting and splits are focus points for bacterias THAT WILL KILL YOU.  I don't think I managed to get more than half of them unscathed. 

4. Add spices and vinegar to jars, making sure to cover the eggs completely (because vinegar is a magic barrier, apparently) while leaving enough space at the top of the jar to create a vacuum.  Put lids on jars, leaving the rings loose so air can escape.

5. Put jars in canning pot with enough water to reach the top of the jars and bring to a rolling boil, making sure the contents of the jars are also heating up.  According to the Kuntz Family, who's canning instructions I was following, you want to make sure the contents reach 200F and are kept there for 15 minutes.

6. Use the forceps to pull the jars out. Unscrew the rings to give the jars a final burp, then screw them on tight again. Beware of molten brine shooting out in every direction >.>

7. Let cool on the counter top and await eagerly to hear the lids pop!  Now that the eggs have been pasteurized and sealed in a harsh environment, they should be safe to eat for at least a year if kept in a cool and dark environment.

Now, remember when I said some eggs came out with a soft spot?  You can microwave the peeled egg for 30 seconds to heat it up, but it won't heat enough to cook.  You can heat it up another 15 seconds with no problem, but once it hits 16, there might be a slight boom that blows the microwave door open.  Just so, like, you know.

The fun part will come in two weeks when we eat all of them in camp.  I made four jars with beets and twelve with six different spice combinations.  I will do my best to do a write up of the critique and spice blends when I get back.

Adventures in Protein Balls

Dan goes through a shittone of Quest bars and one day discovered that they make an unflavored protein powder that is stable for baking. Being as how I fucking hate how sweet every motherfucking bar is, I figured this would be a fabulous thing to try out.  As a first impression, the Quest whey powder is atrocious by itself in shake form. Mixed up, though, it isn't half bad.

So first, Dan dissolved about 60 g inulin powder in hot water until getting a saturated syrup. He then mixed in 2 oz of Quest powder, 3 oz of milked almond pulp*, and 1 tbsp of dark cocoa powder. Mix well and divide into 12 balls, 1 tbsp each.

Per ball:
5 g inulin - 20 cals, 0 fat, 5g carbs (5g dietary fiber), 0 protein
1/3oz Quest powder - 33 cals, 0 fat, 0.3g carb, 8g protein
1/2oz almond pulp - 10 cal, 1g fat, 0.5g carb (0.28g fiber), 0.5g protein
1/12 tbsp cocoa powder - 0.8 cals, 0.4g fat, 0.25g carb (1/6g fiber), 1/12g protein

Total per ball -  61.8 cals, 1.4g fat, 6 carbs (5.5 fiber), 8.6g protein
Three balls (45g) - 185.4 cals, 4.2g fat, 18g carbs (16.5 fiber), 25.8g protein
Cookie dough Quest Bar (60g) - 190 cals, 9g fat, 20g carb (14g fiber (2g erithritol), >1g sugar), 21g protein

Well, the balls aren't OMG AWESOME, but they are definitely a fantastic first shot in the dark.  The next iteration will have more inulin, since these were a bit bland in the flavor department, and probably some form of nut butter to add flavor. I also want to add more almond pulp since it really doesn't offer many calories but does add volume.  Yay first try!


*The almond pulp was the solids leftover from when I made almond milk. Apparently all of the nutritional values are taken in the milk.

Keto progress notes, the third

So, after six straight weeks of keeping strict keto, I'd finally managed to inch down to 161.8 saturday before my bout.  In celebration (and because the waitress gave us a free beer (and it was Dave's birthday on monday)), I decided to take sunday off.  This resulted with me waking up at 167.8 on tuesday.  I was less than pleased, but figured it was just bloat from going off sunday and a really intense three hour practice monday night.  Today I was only down to 165.8...  I'm going to continue and watch if there was any permanent damage, but there were some important observations I made as to what I like and don't like anymore.

- Beer is the nectar of gods.  A good beer will probably be worth breaking keto for after parties, which will happen about once a month.

- Ice Cream is also perfect.

- Pop corn is really good, but much better if it comes from the movie theater.

- There was no pizza this weekend, but I think I can safely put it on the MUST EAT list.

- Fruits and corn will also forever be a favorite of mine.

- The "apple nachos a la mode" from Quaker Steak fall into both the fruit and ice cream clauses.

- Baked sweets, though, I'm pretty indifferent towards.  I had a couple of cookies that I enjoyed, but was done after just a couple.  I didn't even want to try the cupcakes, or anything glazed/frosted.

- A good sourdough and olive oil (or grilled cheese) should fall under the pretty cool category, but were not tested in this round.

- Kildare's "irish nachos" with home made potato chips were down right not worth it.  If you put sour cream ruffles in front of me, though, all bets are off.

So yeah, there is a remarkable trend in things I'm just not interested in anymore after not having them in my regular diet.  I still want fat with everything, especially if it is creamy, but there are very few instances of sugar I really care about, and only then when associated with milk fat.  HFCS is definitely out of the question.  Wheat I could give or take, but I will shank a bitch for corn.

More keto progress notes!

It's been 26 days since I went back on keto.  The first week or so was ABSOLUTE HELL, but it was pretty even with the debloating and stabilized around the 10th.  Now, I've been weighing pretty much the same for the past 21 days; 164.6 lbs.  I had a three pound dip the weekend of the 20th, though, but that was due to the flu and being dehydrated and in bed all day.

Skating is decent.  I've had a couple of days where I get tired, but it is mostly sunday mornings when I forget to eat before 10 am class.  Last night we did 1-8-1 pyramid sprints that I was able to survive without getting winded thanks to a very hefty cauliflower, cheese and bacon dinner, and more cream than I should have in my tea.

Lifting has also been good.  I've been able to work up to 105 lb squat, mostly focusing on form, and did 115 lb deadlift on my first time back.  Bench press was 50 last week and I hope to up it tonight.  I can easily bring a 35 lb plate up from my knees to over my head, and a 25 lb plate if I arc it.  And then I did weighted incline situps and haven't been able to move for a week -_-;;

I've reached that point where I'm half way to my goal and EXTREMELY BITCHY.  There's no real progress other than the initial debloat, and I have no faith that I'll ever be lean.  Tryouts for the travel team will be this sunday and next, so I'm sticking to it for the next two weeks.  I'll still probably follow through until the end of february as I initially declared, because I'm stubborn.  But I have no faith in the slightest.

Keto progress notes

Six days doing keto and I am luckily back to the weight I was at Thanksgiving.  This is very refreshing because I'd just gotten a really cute wool jacket from Express that was too tight during the holidays.  And now that the weather WARMED UP TO FREEZING, I am happy I can wear it ^_^  And I'm glad it wasn't a permanent 10 lb gain like it was Holiday Season 2012.

I was flipping through MFP and I was only able to recover up to a year's worth of data, so I figured I should start keeping a log of mentionable experiences here when it comes to keto, taking advantage of me going back on after several months and actually being able to focus on the effects.

Day 1) Sunday I was cranky, but mostly because I really wanted leftover candycane marshmallows and potato chips.  I didn't feel anything keto-flu-like. 

Day 2) Monday was -17F.  Fuck That Shit.

Day 3) Tuesday was my first day back at the gym.  I killed it on the 10 minute elliptical breaks I had between lifting sets.

Day 4) Wednesday's Derby wasn't painful out of the ordinary.  I finally got the unquenchable thirst back!  That's one thing that annoyed me about being out of keto: I was never thirsty and drinking anything was a chore.

Day 5) Thursday I started to feel weak and tired.  I woke up with four really bad nerve pinches in my spine.  I'm glad that Dan managed to walk them out that night.  Went to bed with a mild headache I had most of the night.

Day 6) Friday I woke up feeling really weak.  I have a faint haze all over my body, like as if my muscles were about to fall asleep.  Not feeling too excited for the gym tonight.

I've been making an effort to try to keep to the numbers we calculated a few days ago.  The hardest thing for me has been managing to eat a minimum of 80 grams of protein.  I've been forcing myself to start the day with a protein shake and then eat some eggs or ALL OF THE BACON for dinner.

New Year's Calculations

At my lowest weight, I went from 185 to 145 lbs. A year ago, I gained 10 lbs during the holidays and maintained myself between 155-165 all year. Today, after two months off of keto, I weighed in at 168.8 (but managed to hit 172 last week). So, new year == new goals. I am telling myself (once again) that I will actually exercise five times a week and not cheat on keto and I WILL FUCKING LIFT GODDAMNIT IF IT KILLS ME. These are the numbers Dan helped me crunch:

essential fatty acids (std female and male numbers)

- alpha-linolenic acid 1.1gr (1.6)

- linoleic acid 12gr (17)

- docosahexaenoic acid 250mg-2g (blend DHA/EHA 500 mg fish oil capsules) 

- gamma-linolenic acid

protein 80-170 grams (one scoop powder ~24 gr)

125 gr protein (5 scoops powder, 6 chicken breasts) = 500 cals

up to a maximum of 80 additional grams of protein before damage

Hemp oil contains:

20% alpha 5.5-8 gr

60% linoleic 20-28 gr

1 TBS hemp oil ~ 200 cals

500-860 calories come from minimum protein and essential fatty acids

--------

Basal Metabolic Rate

Exercise None Light Moderate

Kc at 168lbs 1,560 1,872 2,145

Kc at 140lbs 1,440 1,728 1,980

1000 calories left over:

fat = 111 g fat max (10 tbs butter)

fibrous plant matter (total net carbs < 15 - 20g/day)

[recipe] Brownie Cheesecake Bites

Welp, I made four dozen of these, and they kind of disappeared in one night.  I'm glad I managed to remember to take a picture before we ate the last two!  I made them for Q's birthday and even the non-diety people enjoyed them.  It was such a blast to have Isilzha over and NanoNuki in town again.

BROWNIE BASE

1/2 cup Butter (one stick)

2 oz unsweetened baking chocolate

1 cup almond meal
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
pinch salt
3/4 cup Splenda
2 tbsp vanilla
2 large eggs
1/4 cup chopped nuts (optional)

Melt butter and chocolate in 30 second microwave bursts, or over a water bath.  Mix in all the powders and vanilla, then the eggs once the butter has cooled down enough to not cook them.  Spoon in to mini cupcake tins and flatten down to fill base.  Bake for 5 minutes at 325F.

CHEESECAKE FILLING

1 lb full fat cream cheese (two standard 8 oz boxes)

1/2 cup Splenda

1/4 cup heavy cream

1 tbsp vanilla

2 large eggs

1/4 cup cinnamon (optional)

Beat all together until fluffy and spoon into the prebaked brownie cups.  Bake for 15 minutes at 300F.  Stick in fridge to set, or as long as you can tolerate not burning yourself.

The original recipe from All Day I Dream About Food is written for a 9" buttered springform pan, but cupcakes are always more entertaining ^_^  My other big change was to add the cinnamon.  Of course, this is completely optional, but it made them divine.  And since there is never enough cinnamon for Dan, he made a fantastic sauce to bathe them in.

CINNAMON SAUCE

1/2 cup melted butter

1 tbsp cocoa powder

1 cup Splenda

1 cup cinnamon

Next time I really want to try and make this caramel sauce from Blondie's Paleo and Keto Journey.  I am such a sucker for caramel!

Carbs

August has historically been a difficult month for me to do keto for reasons like my birthday and Grange Faire.  On top of that, this year I have Pennsic the first week and a trip to Texas (driving back through Mississippi and Tennessee) the second.  So I decided to take the month off.

Last week, though, I was fantasizing so hard that I chose to start my liberation on the Fourth of July with a funnel cake and caramel apple.  It's been… odd.

I'm not too fond of HFCS, and I've noticed that most artificial sweeteners that aren't Splenda have horrible interactions with glucose and make me feel like there are stones churning in my stomach, so my beverage choices have been severely reduced and I am perpetually thirsty.  Fruit is orgasmic!  I need not say more.

As for exercise, it's a mixed bag.  Skating was peachy keen.  Weight lifting was a curse of the gods!  I lifted less than my max yesterday, didn't feel that typical exhaustion of working to your fullest, and still couldn't squat down to pick up my phone.  I was in bed and mostly asleep for ten hours and still woke up useless (and with dehydrated skin crinkles).  Even walking to my car after work yesterday when my glucose was low (protein shake fail) gave me calve needles.  My joints are ok, but my muscles feel like they have gravel in them.

My ass started high at 160, and in just seven days has made it to 165 -_-  And if the exercise issues weren't enough, I am perpetually hungry.  I mean, I can sit there and eat a pint of beans, be painfully full, and still be "hungry".  I am just never satiated.  And shit keeps getting stuck in my gums and making them swell.

So it's been a mixed bag.  I fucking LOVE eating anything I want again, but I'm paying for it in ways that really suck.  I'm going to give it two months, regardless, but I'll probably start reigning it in more and more if the decline gets any worse.

[recipe] SF Keto Flax Brownies

I've been playing around with this recipe for Miracle Brownies a few times to completely different results.  They are good, and pretty easy to make.

FIRST ITERATION

When reading the recipe, I realized it asked for three full cups of sweetener, one cup liquid, one stick butter, four eggs, and two cups flax meal.  I was horrified by this amount of sweetener, so I only used one cup of erythritol with some baking splenda mixed in.  Dan loved them, but I couldn't get past how sweet they still were, and the texture of the flax meal reminded me a lot of wheat bran or corn hulls.

SECOND ITERATION

Like most weekends, I woke up wanting to bake something at random, and Dan requested flax brownies again.  We were out or low in a few ingredients, so I substituted.  I only used 1/4 C erythritol total, used extra cocoa powder instead of baker's chocolate, and subbed the last half cup of flax meal with a mixture of hemp and coconut flour.  I frekin loved these!  They had the same texture as the carbomb cupcakes I'd made the week before for Isilza, though a bit dry.  I want to make them like this again but add more cream next time.  There was one tray of mini cupcakes (15 minutes) and one of big cupcakes (20 minutes).  Dan found them not sweet enough.

THIRD ITERATION

This morning followed the same procedure.  This time I had all the ingredients, but the stove was in the dishwasher, so I had to add the baker's chocolate shaved instead of melted.  I upped the sweetener to 1/4 C erythritol and 1/4 C baking splenda, which was a good level of sweet.  Again in one tray of minis and one tray of regular cupcakes, but something made them really fluff up!  Dan loved them and deemed them the best batch.  I didn't like them nearly as much as last month's because they had the hully texture again, but it got better after they cooled.  A lot more fluffy like cake than moist and chewy like a brownie.  There's a bit of tinny aftertaste from the sweetener.

MY IDEAL NEXT ITERATION

I want to keep the sweetener from batch 3, but the solids from batch 2.  Maybe do 1.5 parts cocoa powder and 0.5 parts baker's chocolate, and twice as much cream.

Cutting Time

So I tried to do paleo last month and it was a complete failure.  The lines were so blurry that I really can't justify not eating ice cream.  So I basically took the month off and ate anything I wanted.  But now that March has started, I have gone into a cutting phase.  

And let me tell you one thing, it sucks!  But desperate times call for desperate measures.

Dan found this Keto Calculator which helps you know how much you need of what macro nutrient depending on your weight, exercise level, and goals.  This is where I stood March 1st:

32/F/5'10" | CW 162.6 | 22.2% BF | moderate exercise

* 1363 kcal Goal (1362 min, 2374 max)

* 10g Carbohydrates

* 120g Protein (81g min, 158g max)

* 94-206g Fat

I've been trying to get 1400 kcals on days I don't do exercise, with the option to eat a few hundred more when I skate (there's a whole 1000 kcal window).  I weighed in at 158.8 this morning, almost four pounds less than four days ago, but I atribute them to debloating after getting off carbs.

My intention is to follow this through April and the end of the play, then alternating with bulking every six weeks after that.  If I don't finally lose that ponch after this, I will be very, very furious.

[recipe] All-of-the-dairy-in-the-house and Broccoli Soup

1/2 C Grated mozzarella

1/2 C Grated cheddar

1/2 C Grated parmesan

1/2 C Full fat ricotta

1/4 lb Cream Cheese

1/4 lb Butter (1 stick)

1/2 C Heavy cream

1 lt Chicken broth

1 lb Broccoli (frozen works)

1/2 C Bacon crumbles

Blend or process all the cheeses and butter until homogeneous.  Slowly incorporate the heavy cream and then some of the broth.  Transfer to a pot on medium heat and slowly add the rest of the broth until soupy and warm, making sure you stir it so that it doesn't separate.

If necessary, heat up the broccoli in a pan before adding to the soup, along with bacon.  Season to taste with garlic, onion, pepper or chilis.

A dollop of sour cream makes for an awesome garnish.

Keto Links

Every once in a while someone will ask me for info on keto, so I should probably start keeping all the articles I'm constantly asking Dan to re-find for me in one place.

r/Keto FAQ

r/xxketo differences between dudebros and chicks

Bodybuilding.com: In depth look at Ketogenic diets and Ketosis

Long term effects of ketogenic diet in obese subjects with high cholesterol level

Lipid Hypothesis (video)

Duke University lifestyle proposal

Diet Doctor: LCHF
his video

Keto macro nutrient calculator



BOOKS

The Ketogenic Diet

Good Calories, Bad Calories



RECIPES

- General keto/paleo/GF blogs
I breath... I'm hungry
Chocolate Covered Katie

-Baked goods
One Minute Muffin

I'll continue to edit this list as I find decent things.