Recipe roundup

Here are a few recipes I have tried recently that I haven't had time to fully fledge out in their own post.

Keto BS+ACVinegar "Cornbread"

This was so good!  It was a crumblier bread, and the almond meal gave it a texture I really liked.  But then again, I'm an extra chunky PB kind of girl.  At first, it had a very strong BS taste straight out of the oven (which didn't stop me from eating), which completely mellowed out after it sweat over night.  A bit of butter on it made it that much more amazing.  I also used my Kitchen Aid mixer instead of a food processor, which might have influenced the texture and lack of BS/V reaction.

Low Carb Creamcheese "Bread"

Another good try.  It took a good hour to bake, though.  The toothpick had come out clean, so I went to flip the pan and the top flopped out.  It had the consistency of a very nice custard, but not solid.  Once I got sick of waiting for it to harden up even more (1:15?), it was worth the wait.  Dan loved this one, but I preferred the "cornbread".  Next time, I'm going to try and blend it more so that the meal is finer.

Real Sugar Bacon Toffee

I'd made this recipe before (completely not keto!), but hadn't gotten it to completely caramelize and harden.  This time, I finally found a candy thermometer!  I mixed in a couple of red pepper flakes, poured into my gingerbread man silicone mold, and topped off with chocolate and almond slivers, in an English Toffee vain.  Many people loved the chocolate on it, but I preferred the pure toffee.  And the kick of the pepper flakes was really nice with the caramel and bacon.

Jello and Protein Powder "Cake"

Yeah, this wasn't all that good.  All you do is mix the protein powder, baking powder, cocoa powder and sweetener and cook in the microwave, then crumble it up and set with sf jello.  Dan absolutely hated it!  I was meh about it.  I still couldn't bring myself to stop eating it, though.  

I eventually want to find some kind of Keto Mug Brownie recipe, since my attempt last week with protein powder, almond meal and egg came out not too different to the jello cake.

Here are some more recipes I'll hopefully try out soon:

LC GF PB and Bacon Bars

LC Cranberry Walnut Cookies

LC Butter Cookies

LC Almond Pancakes
Pumpkin Protein Pancakes

Bacon Caramels (for people that can eat sugar)

[recipe] ALL Of The Awesome SF/keto Nutella-ish Spread

This is calorically dense, and absolutely fantastic! I started wanting to make Nutella, and then went off the deep end. Perfect to have ready for when you get home from the gym and are about to keel over. Should keep you in ketosis, even if you do eat a whole bunch, since it is significantly high in fat.

2 oz bakers chocolate

1 oz heavy cream

1/4 c all natural peanut butter

1/2 c almond meal

1 c macadamia nuts

1/4 c hemp meal

1/2 c splenda

1 c full fat ricotta

Melt the chocolate with the cream in a hot water bath.

Blend all of the nuts and hemp together until creamy.

Incorporate the chocolate and splenda, keep on making creamy.

Add ricotta and keep blending/scraping/folding until nice and smooth.

Adjust splenda and cream or ricotta until desired taste.

Makes about a quart = 64 tbsp

chocolate: 280 cals, 30g fat, 18g carbs, 10g fiber, 8g protein

cream: 97 cals, 10g fat, 1g carb, 1g protein

peanut butter: 700 cals, 56g fat, 20g carbs, 8g fiber, 8g sugar, 36g protein

almond meal: 320 cals, 28g fat, 12g carbs, 6g fiber, 2g sugar, 12g protein

macadamia nuts: 948 cals, 100g fat, 18g carbs, 11g fiber, 5g sugar, 10g protein

hemp meal: 648 cals, 52g fat, 8g carb, 4g fiber, 40g protein

splenda: 48 cals, 12g carbs (estimated)

ricotta: 480 cals, 36g fat, 12g carb, 8g sugar, 28g protein.

Total: 3521 cals, 312g fat, 101g carb, 39g fiber, 23g sugar, 135g protein

TBSP: 55 cals, 5g fat, 1.5g carb, 0.6g fiber, 0.4g sugar, 2.1g protein

[recipe] SF Chocolate Avocado Paste Balls

Last month, when I was reading I breathe... I'm hungry, I ran into this very awkward yet interesting recipe. It takes your standard bourbon truffle and substitutes avocado to make it creamy. So I got three avocados and stuck them in my 5 dozen egg carton to ripen for a couple of weeks (still not enough -_-) and got to mixing everything (except the nuts) until creamy, then folding in the pecans.

2 ripe avocados

2 T coconut oil

1/2 C premium cocoa powder

1 T Splenda

2 T SF chocolate syrup

2 T heavy whipping cream

1/2 t vanilla extract

1/2 t almond extract

1/2 C chopped pecans

It is very important that the avocados really are as ripe as possible, without starting to rot. Judging by the ingredients she uses, I'm guessing the writer of the other blog lives in a warmer climate, prone to all the good produce I miss.

Unfortunately, mine still were a bit green, highly influencing the taste. I tried to counteract this by increasing the Splenda to 1 T and adding vanilla and almond extracts.

Another substitution, which I doubt worked, was SF chocolate syrup (Walmart brand Hershey's knockoff) instead of SF chocolate flavored syrup (Torani). I bought one that was caramel flavored last month that I really didn't like, so I didn't feel like filling my pantry with yet another subpar bottle just to use two tablespoons. This might not have been an ideal substitution, either, as it was quite bitter.

Next time, I want to try eliminating the syrup and adding some more cream, Splenda and extract to compensate. And riper avocados :/

Also, I went the lazy route and just left it in the mixer bowl to be eaten with a spoon ^_^

Makes 12 portions, each with:

111 cals, 10 g fat, 4.5 g carbs (3 g fiber), 1.5 g protein

[recipe] Cauli-pizza Mash

Last night I made the yummiest healthy thing by accident! I took a head of cauliflower (5 cups?), boiled it a bit, then tossed it in the food processor with:

- 1/2 C ricotta

- 2 t California Sun Dry Julienne Cut Tomatoes with herbs

- 1 oz grated parmesan cheese

- 1 oz pepperoni

That's it! The tomatoes I used, though, were packed in oil with some herbs, making it taste exactly like pizza. Stupidly yummy.

Nutritional facts for the whole thing:

Ricotta - 216 cals, 16 g fat, 4 g carb, 14 g protein

Tomatoes - 30 cals, 3 g fat, 3 g carb, <1 g protein

Parmesan - 120 cals, 9 g fat, 6 g carb, 12 g protein

Pepperoni - 138 cals, 12 g fat, 6 g protein

Cauliflower - 140 cals, 30 g carb, 10 g protein

TOTAL - 644 cals, 40 g fat, 43 g carb (only 10 g being fiber), 42 g protein

How to wash your pads

Ok. The basics to having unstinky gear.

This is a post I wrote a while ago when I started, full of ideas and research. Down below is what my routine has evolved into after a year and a half of trial and error.

EVERY DAY

1) Go home after practice and pull everything out of your bag.

2) Lay everything out in a place that has good air circulation. Ideally, a covered porch or in front of the dehumidifier in the basement. Others will hook things around their shower curtain rod (or hang them from their ceiling tiles) with the fan running. Make sure the sweaty sides are exposed.

Extra tips:

- Spray with something alcoholic (really cheap vodka) or an enzyme spray (Nature's Miracle, Funk Out something or other) to kill bacteria and decompose biological warfare components.

- Some people on Etsy also make satchels filled with super absorbant polymers and baking soda that you can toss in your bag for the ride home. They aren't a solution, just a small help.

- I have also seen a "pad tree" made with perforated PVC tubes on ropes that you can put your pads on and hang somewhere to help aerate them. You keep it in your gym bag and put your crap on it as you take it off, then just pull it out and hang it up when you get home.

- Gaskets can stand up nicely around old bottles so you don't have one side covered by the other.

- Nevereverevereverever spray with Febreze, perfume, or anything else with a lot of added odor or I will hunt you down and kick you in the jimmies.

EVERY COUPLE OF WEEKS

1) Make sure all of your pads are turned inside out, with the velcros well attached. This includes removable helmet paddings.

2) Toss in a washing machine with 1/2 cup chlorine bleach, and run with enough cold/warm water to cover them. I don't use soap because I don't want to have to get all the soap off. Leftover bleach will just evaporate.

3) Lay out to dry like you do every night.

Tips: I don't use hot water nor the dryer because heat will help the padding decompose faster.

Some people also put everything inside a garment bag or old pillow case to keep velcros from coming undone and snagging.

ONCE A YEAR

1) buy new shit! I'm supposedly on a rotating schedule where I'll replace one piece of gear every two months so I don't get hit with sticker shock.

BIG NO-NO'S

1) Never leave your gear in your plastic gym bag! Shit will get moldy, you will get an infection, and people will hate you and your stench.

2) Never leave your gear in your car! The extreme heat will again decompose your pads, but more importantly will warp your skates.

3) I told you already, scents. Skating in a pace line behind someone with funk is bad. Skating behind someone with funk AND horribly strong perfume (which some of us are allergic to!) will lead me to violence.

ERRATA

1) "flipping your pads inside out" does not mean digging out the padding. It means leaving the side that goes against your skin as exposed as possible. Not all pads are reversible (my 187 elbows and some slip on wrists aren't), so meh. You do what you can with what you've got.

2) Shells don't need to come off. I actually have never personally seen pads with removable shells, so I don't know how detrimental this is to the integrity of the pad.

3) "Covering the velcro" doesn't mean using tape. Just make sure every strap is well matched up with its other half, so that the snaggy plastic side has as little exposure as possible